The Beast of Gotham
by bluecashmere
Summary: So, the title of the season premiere, "Surrender Benson" made me think of a certain movie. This story does not follow the promo. I don't think this is what will happen on the show. I just hope it serves as a little diversion for those of us trying to stay sane until September 25.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Welcome home Detective Benson.

Once again, Olivia Benson felt a gun to her head. She had no time to catch her breath before he shoved her toward her bedroom and pushed her down on her bed. In a split second, she gathered herself, trusted her training as a cop, and made a decision.

"I'm not surprised you're here." she said calmly.

"What?" he wasn't expecting her to talk. He had expected her to scream.

"I felt like we made a connection, before. You and I. You felt it too, didn't you?"

"Shut up." he said less forcibly than he had wanted. "Just shut up." He brought the gun back up to her head. "You make any more noise and we won't get to have all of the fun I have planned for us."

Olivia forced herself to remain calm and whispered as seductively as she could, "I want to have fun."

He laughed and said, "Why don't you start by taking off your clothes?"

She looked him in the eye, and smiled slightly as she started to shrug her jacket off. "You're the boss." She pulled her shirt over her head, and tossed it to the floor. Catching her breath she started to reach behind herself to unhook her bra. At this moment, he wasn't looking at anything but her chest, waiting for the big reveal. Without hesitation, she kicked up between his legs and swiftly swung out her left arm to try to disarm him.

The gun went flying across the room, but William Lewis seemed unfazed by the very strong and very well-placed kick to the groin. He just laughed.

Ignoring the gun, he was on top of her in a flash. His hand covered her mouth before she could scream. But she wasn't going to go down without a fight. She kicked, she clawed at his face, she punched. He backhanded her so hard she saw stars, and stopped for just a moment before she started struggling again. She had taken down bigger men than this. But then he hit her again, and everything went dark.

She didn't know how long she had been out, but it had been long enough for Lewis to put her in, what seemed to be, an inescapable position: spread-eagled on her bed, arms and legs restrained to the frame, duct tape over her mouth. Panic gripped her insides, and she tried to remind herself to stay calm and level-headed. This was her only hope of getting through this ordeal.

She looked around but didn't see him. She closed her eyes and tried to feign unconsciousness to allow herself to think. What were her options? How tight were the bindings around her wrists and ankles? Could she bend her legs enough to try to kick him? Certainly, if the opportunity presented itself, a head butt was not out of the question.

She heard the flick of a lighter and began to smell cigarette smoke wafting through the apartment. He had put his cigarettes out on Alice Parker. She heard, and smelled, him re-enter the bedroom.

"Wakey, wakey, Detective. It's time to start our date."

She felt his weight lower onto the side of the bed. He leaned over in front of her face and exhaled the cigarette smoke directly into her nose. Her coughing was instantaneous and painful without the benefit of being able to open her mouth. Her eyes flew open just in time to see Lewis laugh and stab the lit end of the cigarette onto her stomach.

The pain was more intense than she could have imagined, and she felt tears spring to her eyes. Her muffled cries wouldn't even be heard in the next room much less the next apartment.

"Oh, I'm sorry darling. Did that sting?" Lewis grinned down at her. "But now that I have your full attention, we can have some fun." He reached into the back of his jeans and pulled out a pair of scissors. He used them to snip the sides of her panties, removing the last barrier between them.

He seemed almost childlike as he jumped up on the bed and straddled her. She knew what was next. She had heard so many rape stories over her long career. So many of the victims had talked about how they "went somewhere else" while it was happening. She could definitely use her own out-of-body experience right now, but it didn't seem to be happening. She felt everything as he plunged inside of her and thrust as violently as he could. She closed her eyes and tried to just keep breathing.

"Look at me bitch!" he yelled at her. "I want to see the fear in your eyes."

She did as she was told. She was going to do anything to survive.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The hours wore on, and Olivia managed to maintain her sanity as the violence and torture continued. She tried to ignore the pain of the numerous cigarette burns and rape.

Lewis was napping beside her now, his head resting on her bound arm. He was so close. Yet, she was unable to figure out a way to extricate herself from this situation. She wouldn't let herself cry as much as she wanted to. She needed to save all of her strength to think and survive. She knew he would wake soon. She should probably rest herself, but her body was too tense to allow sleep.

Think, Olivia, think. She thought to herself. There must be something. She thought about pulling on the cords that bound her to the bed, but she was afraid that any movement might wake him. She didn't enjoy having this monster this close to her, but as long as he was asleep, he wasn't hurting her.

Unfortunately, her reprieve didn't last long. She heard Lewis take a deep breath and felt him turn to look at her.

He ran the back of his hand along the side of her face. "So beautiful," he murmured. "I think I should be the last person to see this beautiful face, or, at least to see this face so beautiful." He grinned as the idea entered his brain and he jumped up to prepare his next torture.

She heard him rummaging around in her kitchen and tried not to think about what he might be searching for. He came back into the bedroom all too soon.

"Ah, let me take one last look before I ruin it forever." he smiled down at her cupping her face with his left hand, brandishing a knife in his right.

Olivia squeezed her eyes tight. She couldn't watch as the knife moved closer to her cheek. This time she did feel herself go someplace else. She didn't know if she had passed out from pain or fear, but she didn't feel the blade cut into her skin.

She felt like she was floating. She couldn't feel the bed beneath her. There was no pain. Her legs and arms didn't feel like they were bound. She felt like she was drifting softly on the wind. She wasn't watching herself from outside her body like some others had described. She wasn't really seeing anything at all. But this felt right. This is where she wanted to stay.

The sensation didn't seem to last that long. But when she opened her eyes, it was clear that time had passed. She turned her head and saw that the sun was setting outside her window, and Lewis was not snoring beside her.

Maybe he was gone. Maybe it was over. But then she heard him chuckling behind her. Whipping her head to the other side he saw him standing there with a long piece of metal. A coat hanger? Oh, God, Joan Crawford was right.

Lewis reached down and pushed her head towards the window again. Pushing her hair off of her neck he leaned in with the red-hot metal. She felt the heat before it actually touched her skin. And she heard the skin burning before she felt it.

And, then she was floating again. And there was peace. This was the place. No Lewis here. She had to figure out how to stay here.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

She felt herself being drawn back to the world. She wanted to fight it, but she didn't know how. She tried to concentrate on the floating sensation. But she soon realized that she could once again feel the bed beneath her.

She kept her eyes closed, and listened for Lewis. But something was different. There was more sound than there had been before. She sensed more activity around her. She didn't smell cigarette smoke or the hideous stench of her own burnt flesh. She slowly opened her eyes only to find George Huang standing before her.

"Hey Liv," he grinned at her. "How are you feeling?"

Still trying to process her immense relief at having survived the ordeal with William Lewis, Olivia delivered her standard "I'm fine."

Then, she realized she was fine. She reached up to feel her cheek but there didn't seem to be a cut there. No burn on her neck either. "How long have I been here?"

"Two days." Huang answered. "Vincent Prochik was boiling gyromitra mushrooms when you arrested him in his lab. The vapors are temporarily neurotoxic. But you're going to be fine now."

Confusion was clear on Olivia's face. Prochik? Mushrooms? That was years ago."What about Lewis? Did you get him"

Concerned, Huang pulled a stool up and sat down beside Olivia's bed. He took out a small penlight and shined it into her eyes. "I'm not familiar with the Lewis case. Can you tell me the last thing you remember?"

"I was in my apartment. William Lewis was waiting there for me, with a gun. He, umm... Who found me? Who called you in?"

"Okay, okay, Olivia. I think the neurotoxins may have caused some strange dreams. he patted her hand. "Why wouldn't I be here?"

"You were transferred to Oklahoma?" Olivia started panic.

George laughed a little, "I've never even been to Oklahoma"

The look of confusion on her face concerned him. "Olivia, do you know where you are?"

"I'm in the hospital, New York City."

"Can you tell me who the President is?"

"You're kidding me, right? Barack Obama" Olivia answered exasperated.

"And what year is it?"

"2013"

Huang raised his eyebrows, but maintained his composure. "Olivia, why don't you lie back and get some more rest. You should feel better in a few hours."

"I actually feel fine." she replied. "Maybe I could get out of here?"

He smiled at her, "Trust me Olivia. After a little more rest everything will seem clear again."

He then left the room. Olivia couldn't rest though. Her mind was going a mile a minute. He had seemed surprised that she said the year was 2013. And the case with the mushrooms had been at least two years ago. And, that time, she had only been in the hospital for a couple of hours, not two days.

Maybe she hadn't had a bad dream. Maybe she was hallucinating now. Maybe the stress of the situation with Lewis was causing this. Maybe she was still in her apartment with him.

She heard someone enter her room, and looked up to see her partner. "Nick, thank god you're here."she exclaimed.

He looked at her confused. "I'm surprised you remember me." he said. "Your doctor thought these pills might help you get some rest."

"What are you talking about? Of course I know you're name." she took the pills and downed them with the cup of water he offered without even thinking about it.

She took a good look at him. Why was he wearing scrubs?

"Just get some rest Detective Benson." he smiled at her. "I'll be back to check on you in a little while."

Olivia just shook her head at herself and leaned back into the pillows. Nothing was making sense. She was starting to question what was real. The pills worked quickly to pull her back into oblivion.


	4. Chapter 4

**So, could someone please throw me a bone? Love it? Hate it? Just a teeny, tiny review please?**

Chapter 4

"Hey sleeping beauty" Lewis sneered, "I'm not done with you yet."

Olivia startled awake, once again into the nightmare. It isn't over, she thought to herself. The pain came back into her like a wall of thunder. She hurt everywhere, and was having trouble focusing her eyes. Lewis's face seemed larger than it had been before, and more deranged.

She closed her eyes. She wanted to go back. Even if it was the wrong year, there was no pain there. Lewis was climbing on top of her yet again. She wasn't sure that she could take any more. She felt broken, both mentally and physically. She was trying to force herself to want to hang on just a little longer.

"Hey!" he slapped her hard. "You know I like you to keep your eyes open when we make love." he shouted.

She opened her eyes, but they didn't really show fear any more. She was beyond that. She just couldn't believe this was happening. She couldn't feel anything but pain as he began thrusting into her yet again. He went on for what seemed like hours, becoming more and more vicious. When she was certain she couldn't possibly take any more, she felt something inside of her break, something physically crack. The excruciating pain became her saving grace as she closed her eyes and passed out once again.

When her eyes opened, she was back in the hospital. She was alone. Trying to get her bearings she quickly pulled arm up to her left cheek. No cut. No burn on her neck. No pain. She breathed a sigh of relief and settled back onto the pillows. It was just a drug-induced dream. There was no William Lewis. She hadn't been raped.

Olivia had known she wanted to join the police academy from an early age. She had never tried drugs. It wasn't something she wanted any part of. She wasn't exactly a goody-two-shoes, but she had never been all that bad either. She was glad she had never done them. They obviously didn't agree with her.

But she was still having trouble wrapping her head around the idea that the last two and half years she thought had happened, hadn't. Then, it occurred to her: Elliot was still her partner. He hadn't turned in his papers. His leaving had been a nightmare as well. Maybe not as horrible as the William Lewis thing but, still, pretty awful.

It wasn't very long before Huang made another appearance. "Hey Liv, feeling any better?"

"Um, yeah. I think I'm going to be just fine."

"I've spoken with your doctor, and she agrees that the best thing for you, right now, is to get out of here." he told her. "I would like to see you in a couple of days, just to see how things are progressing. Does that sound good to you?"

"Getting out of here sounds fantastic."

Just then the door to her room opened again and Amanda Rollins entered, throwing Olivia into a tailspin once again. "Rollins?"

"Yes, I'm Dr. Rollins. I didn't expect you to remember my name. You were a little out of it when we first met. That memory must serve you well as a detective."

"Yeah, I guess so." Olivia didn't really know how to respond. She looked at Huang to see if he noticed her confusion.

"Olivia, Dr. Rollins has been taking care of you. I'm sure she introduced herself and spoke to you even though she wasn't sure if you could hear her. You probably internalized the information and it became incorporated into your dreams."

"Okay, that makes sense." Olivia said, not completely believing it. "It's probably just going to take some time, right?"

Both the doctors nodded their heads, and smiled at her. She was beginning to feel like a stupid little kid.

"So, I can get out of here now?"

"You bet," Dr. Rollins answered. "I have your discharge papers and aftercare instructions all ready. Do you have someone to give you a ride home?"

Olivia looked hopefully at Dr. Huang.

"Actually, your partner's waiting out in the hall. He says he wants to take you out for a good meal. But I really think he just wants to give you some grief about the mushrooms."


	5. Chapter 5

Olivia was trying to act as normal as possible, but it seemed so strange to be sitting across the table from her partner at their favorite diner.

"So," Elliot smirked at her, "was it a long, strange trip?"

"You have no idea." she replied.

"No, really, what was it like?" he inquired.

"It all seems so strange now. It's like I dreamed the last two and a half years. I mean, I know it's October of 2010, but, in my head, it feels like it's May of 2013."

"Wow." Elliot exclaimed. "Maybe we should test this. Who wins the next two superbowls?"

"Ha, ha, very funny."

"So, how much hair do I have left in 2013?" he asked her with a grin

"I don't know." she answered quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I feel like I haven't seen you in two years, Elliot. It all seemed so real. I mean, I remember what I had for lunch last Tuesday. I remember big stuff and little stuff. And it wasn't like a dream. I didn't bounce around from place to place. I experienced each and every minute."

"Liv? I didn't die in your dream, did I?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. You had...you went through a rough experience. Oh, I guess it doesn't matter how I say it because it didn't really happen. You found yourself in a position where you had to shoot a teenager, a young girl. She died. It was a good shoot, but I guess you decided you just didn't want to do this anymore. You turned in your papers. I hadn't seen you since the shooting."

"We didn't keep in touch?"

"No."

"That would never happen." he seemed very serious.

Elliot pulled the car up in front of Olivia's apartment building. "You still live here, right?"

She didn't laugh like he had expected. "Yeah, I still live here." She made no move to get out of the car. "I don't have my gun."

"It's locked up at the precinct," Elliot responded. "you okay?"

"Fine, I'm fine," she laughed unconvincingly. That was a dream she told herself. There is no William Lewis. There is no monster waiting for you in your apartment.

Elliot watches her hesitation with concern. "You know, Liv, it's a long ride back to Queens. You think I could maybe come up for a minute, and you know, um, borrow your facilities?"

"Yeah," she looked at him with relief. "Of course."

As they walked up the stairs, Olivia felt a little more confident. She knew that Elliot didn't have to use the bathroom. He was just being overprotective. Normally this would have bothered her, but tonight she was just too grateful to care.

Her apartment was quiet and empty, just as it should be. She took a deep, relaxing breath and allowed herself to sink into her couch. Exiting the bathroom, Elliot came and sat next to her.

"What is it Liv?"

"Something bad happened here." she said slowly.

"It wasn't real. It didn't happen." he tried to convince her.

"Yeah, I know. But it seemed so real." she answered still glancing around nervously.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"No." she replied, "It didn't really happen, anyway. I just need to get back to work, get back to normal, you know."

"Yeah, well, if you change your mind..."

"Thanks El. I know."

The first thing Olivia did after Elliot left was retrieve her off-duty service weapon. She could keep telling herself that her experience was just a drug-induced nightmare until she was blue in the face, but it didn't change the way she felt.

Gun in hand, she canvassed her apartment yet again, opening every closet and cabinet door. She checked under the bed, and inside the trunk she kept in her living room. No one was there. She was alone, but she still didn't feel safe.

Sighing out loud she decided to take a shower to try to wash off the hospital stench and maybe any emotional residue. She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror as she waited for the water to heat up. Did she look younger than she had the last time she had looked in a mirror? She didn't think so, but she had never been one to stare at herself and inspect for new wrinkles.

Showered and dressed for bed, Olivia stopped and stared at her bed. She couldn't possibly sleep in her bed. That's where it had happened, where Lewis had... But, no, it hadn't happened. It wasn't real. She needed to be strong and put this behind her. She couldn't let some ridiculous mushrooms affect her life. She was Olivia Benson, NYPD detective. She was strong. She was not going to allow herself to lose her mind. But she felt like she was losing her mind. She was scared. Just for tonight, she'd let herself sleep on the couch.

Cocooning herself in her favorite throw, Olivia flicked the television on. It was always easier to fall asleep this way. She truly believed that a good night's sleep in her own apartment would be just the ticket to getting back to normal.

She was wrong.


End file.
